Bike saddles

Bicycles are brilliant: fast, efficient, green, healthy, etc. Apart from saddles. Bike saddles are the modern equivalent of medieval torture devices. So why hasn't some bright spark somewhere sorted this out?

For me, the lack of comfort stems from my weight being on my perineum rather than on my bum cheeks. The reason there isn't better support for the cheeks is that they need to move as the legs move. So the solution that suggests itself to me is a hinged saddle with one cushion for each cheek. These move independently on a hinge that goes across the bike and is supported by the seat post. Each cushion is a curved l-shape to support the bum cheek and the top of the thigh. Some molding of the cushion (higher at the side than in the middle) would help stop any side-to-side movement. A woeful attempt to communicate this idea visually is below.